Ratio of an igloo's circumference to its diameter:  Eskimo Pi

2000 pounds of Chinese soup:  Won ton

1 millionth of a mouthwash:  1 microscope

Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement:  1 bananosecond.

Weight an evangelist carries with God:  1 billigram

Time it takes to sail 220 yards at 1 nautical mile per hour: Knot-furlong

365.25 days of drinking low-calorie beer because it's less filling:  lite year

16.5 feet in the Twilight Zone:  1 Rod Sterling

Half of a large intestine:  1 semicolon

1000 aches:  1 kilohurtz

Basic unit of laryngitis:  1 hoarsepower

Shortest distance between two jokes:  A straight line.

I million microphones:  1 megaphone

1 million bicycles:  2 megacycles

2000 mockingbirds:  Two kilomockingbirds

10 cards:  1 decacards

1 kilogram of falling figs:  1 Fig Newton

1000 cubic centimeters of wet socks:  1 literhosen

1 millionth of a fish:  1 microfiche

1 trillion pins:  1 terrapin

10 rations:  1 decoration

100 rations:  1 C-ration

2 monograms:  1 diagram