God grant me the Senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference. Amen.
Now that I'm older, here's what I've discovered:
*I started out with nothing, I still have most of it
*My wild oats have turned to prunes and All Bran
. *I finally got my head together, now my body is falling apart.
*Funny, I don't remember being absent minded
*All reports are in. Life is now officially unfair.
*If all is not lost, where is it?
*It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser.
*Some days you're the dog, some days you're the hydrant.
*I wish the buck stopped here. I sure could use a few ...
*It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.
*Only time the world beats a path to your door is if you're in the bathroom.
*If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put them on my knees.
*When I'm finally holding all the cards, why does everyone decide to play chess?
*It's not hard to meet expenses ... they're everywhere.
*The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.