Andy Rooney says, "As I grow in age, I value older women most of all.
Here are just a few reasons why."

An older woman will never wake you in the middle of the night to ask,
"What are you thinking?" She doesn't care what you think.

An older woman knows herself well enough to be assured in who she is,
what she is, what she wants and from whom. Few women past the age of 50
care what you might think about them.

An older single woman usually has had her fill of "meaningful
relationships" and "commitment." The last thing she needs in her life is
another dopey, clingy, whiny, dependent lover!

Older women are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you
at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if
you deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you if they think they can
get away with it.

Most older women cook well. They care about cleanliness and are generous
with praise, often undeserved.

An older woman has the self-assurance to introduce you to her women
friends. A younger woman with a man will often ignore even her best
friend because she doesn't trust the guy with other women. Older women
couldn't care less.

Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to an
older woman. She always knows.

An older woman looks good wearing bright red lipstick. This is not true
of younger women or drag queens.

Once she gets past a wrinkle or two, an older woman is far sexier than
her younger counterpart.

Older women are forthright and honest. They'll tell you right off you
are a jerk if you are acting like one.

Yes, we praise older women for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately,
it's not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coifed babe of 70
there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself
with some 22 year-old-waitress. Ladies, I apologize for all of us.