Medical Definitions

 Benign........................What you be after you be eight.

 Artery................................The study of paintings.

 Bacteria............................Back door to cafeteria.

 Barium......................What doctors do when patients die.

 Caesarean Section...........A neighbourhood in Rome.

 CAT scan...............................Searching for kitty.

 Cauterise..........................Made eye contact with her.

 Coma..................................A punctuation mark.

 D & C..................................Where Washington is.

 Dilate................................To live long.

 Enema................................Not a friend.

 Fester..............................Quicker than someone else.

 Fibula................................A small lie.

 Hangnail...........................What you hang your coat on.

 Labour Pain........................Getting hurt at work.

 Medical Staff..................A Doctor's cane.

 Morbid..............................A higher offer than I bid.

 Nitrates............................Cheaper than day rates.

 Node...................................I knew it.

 Outpatient.......................A person who has fainted..

 Post Operative..............A letter carrier.

 Rectum..............................Darn near killed him.

 Secretion.........................Hiding something.

 Seizure.............................Roman emperor.

 Tablet................................A small table.

 Terminal Illness...........Getting sick at the airport.

 Tumour................................More than one.

 Urine..................................Opposite of you're out.

 Varicose...........................Near by/close by.

"I used to be a doctor but I didn't have the patients."